The whole premise behind the Hitman video game series is to reach your target undetected, kill them silently, and get out without raising an alarm. This setup calls for patience, precision, and silence, and the rewards are great. Yet with Hitman: Agent 47—the second attempt at adapting the game series to film—it features none of these and, in fact, replaces the tropes of the game with the exact opposite: ridiculous violence, stupidly over-the-top action scenes, and horrendous acting and escalates these to points of no return all leading to an outrageous and pointless conclusion. Hitman: Agent 47 is—in many ways—about as subtle and sophisticated as Donald Trump in a Mexican restaurant.
With a story that resembles nothing the video game would tell, Agent 47 (Rupert Friend) must track down a girl—and then her father—who knows the secrets to the organization that created him. He is the culmination of years of research and development—more machine than man—and that really comes through in the acting as Friend blandly delivers his already horrendous dialogue.
There really are no redeeming factors to this disaster which is pretty decipherable from one of the opening scenes where 47 fires a sniper rifle by bouncing it on the table, making it hit his handcuffs, freeing him. It is pure stupidity, and it only gets worse from there as we are introduced to super soldiers who can absorb bullets and keep fighting like the Terminator.
Zachary Quinto, who plays the dumbly named John Smith, is a waste of underrated talent. He is zany, excessive, and just annoying. It is a film filled with unlikeable characters constantly getting engaged in gun fights and brawls without any concern for character development, the story its telling, or regards to anything that closely resembles a realistic world.
While it does have a lot of nods to the video game series, which can only usually be spotted by big fans, it does not have the best CGI when it comes to the outlandish moments of gratuitous killing. There are moments that feel like major departures from what the video games try to get you to do—silent, “accidental” deaths instead of a helicopter flying into a building and people getting sucked into turbines. It is as overdone as can be, and it does not acknowledge the game’s subtlety in the slightest.
It pains me to have to watch a movie like this that is based on an excellent video game series that has more than enough material to make an actually decent flick if they stuck to the appropriate atmosphere. With shoddy CGI, acting, and a boring, overblown story, Hitman: Agent 47 is a major misfire. Hell, it makes the Timothy Olyphant version look good compared to it. Don’t waste your time on this, you’ll thank me later.